No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
its liver damage thursday
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
