She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
