Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
