im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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