do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
