office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
