One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
