I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
