Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
