Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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