It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
