Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
