i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
