one two three fourrrrnication!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
