I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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