one might say we're banned from that church
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
