Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just found a bag of teeth...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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