Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
