i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
