Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
