Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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