Im at strip club and am horny
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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