But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
