i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
