as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
