I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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