i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
