Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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