Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize