Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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