I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
