two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
