So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
