For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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