He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
