I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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