I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
