you turned your livingroom into a bong?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize