he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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