This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
