That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Can I color on your dick again?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
