So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dicks are not precious.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
