its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
