It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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