You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm too high and old for this...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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