Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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