ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
