I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
