i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
