you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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