Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
