when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
