Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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