so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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