I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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