the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
